This post was originally written on July 3rd, 2008 at americanbabble. Do you have a personal ulpan story to share? Send me a message at my contact page or write me at contact@ulpangordon.com
Hitting the wall
The last few weeks have been mentally taxing for me. Our regular teacher at Ulpan Gordon went to Barcelona for a week with her husband (As an American, it’s seems like an excessive and exotic week long vacation.) and we were left with a substitute. I had become accustomed to my usual instructor who was with us from the start. The new instructor approached the classroom from a completely different teaching style. She was a little too hyper and disorganized for my taste. It left me feeling extremely stressed and lost even though I was admittedly stressed before, at least I knew how to react to my first teacher.
When my instructor came back from vacation, I thought the stars would align themselves again. Unfortunately, nothing felt the same inside the classroom.
Most of the people who originally started the course with me appeared to have left for one reason or another. They were replaced with people who had an infinitely higher grasp of the Hebrew language than myself. I felt like I was left in the dust.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
From day one, I’ve been very hard on myself with this course. I came in barely knowing that the language is written from right to left left along any of the letters or pronunciation. I overcame this handicap (with MANY after hour study sessions) after the first month and am IMMENSELY thrilled that I can read and write Hebrew now. Unfortunately, my comprehension and conversational skills are ridiculously stifled. (Mostly due to an absurd apprehension I’ve developed from attempting to speak Hebrew with native speakers. I’m still trying to figure out how to overcome that mess.)
Sitting in class this last month, I’ve watched most of the class breeze through lessons, memorize verbs and nouns within a few moments, and have full conversations in Hebrew with the instructor. I thought to myself, “Am I really so stupid that these people can memorize and function with relative ease in Hebrew and I can’t?”. I’ve been stressing over the progress of other people and not just focusing on my personal abilities. It’s a very unproductive mentality to have.
You’re not learning for anyone but yourself
I finally took a moment to analyze the situation and realized I was doomed to feel this way before it even started. A majority of my classmates had already taken Hebrew courses before and several had taken this exact course twice already. Not to mention, the three month course (4 days a week) is an accelerated version of the five month course (5 days a week). They say that you can enter the classroom without knowing any Hebrew and still succeed. But at what cost? Your success is at the cost of being overwhelmed and becoming a flaming ball of anxiety.
I’ve become very attached to the language and have immeasurable joy climbing the ladder of understanding. Now that I have a basic understanding of how it functions, I’m going to turn it into a puzzle to assemble rather than a race. I’m excited to see how this change of focus may help me during the next month of study.
Focus on a solid Hebrew foundation
The lesson learned here is that if you’re a beginner to the Hebrew language, focus on understanding the basics. Lay a solid foundation down for yourself and remember that you are learning for yourself, not for anyone else. If you can graduate immediately from Aleph to Bet, bravo! If you find yourself needing to take Aleph 2 or 3 times over again, so be it! Don’t be so hard on yourself, just breathe, and all the pieces will begin to fit together.
